A coach guide: supporting a peer to get back on track through coaching - Coaching Academy | Episode 6

The Conversation no one wants to have but everyone needs to master…  

Picture this: I had been coaching Sarah for a year. We had built real trust, celebrated wins, navigated challenges together. Then the signs appeared. Missed deadlines. A shift in energy. My stomach tightened when I thought about addressing it. What if I damage what we've built?

That conversation became one of the most important I had as a coach. Not because it was perfect, but because I stopped waiting for the right moment and just showed up with honesty and care. After 6 years at Alan in HR, supporting dozens of these situations, here's what I know: underperformance isn't a career death sentence. It happens to talented people. And it's often reversible when addressed early and thoughtfully.

Whether you're a coach looking to sharpen your skills or a leader wanting to build these practices into your organization, this guide will give you the concrete tools to transform difficult moments into opportunities for growth.

Step behind the scenes of our Coaching Academy! Through our experience, we reveal the coaching practices that prove effective daily, putting employee fulfillment at the heart of everything we do.

When underperformance arises, both work together but with distinct roles:

If your organization doesn't separate these roles, you'll need to wear both hats but the principles still apply. Just be clear with yourself about which "hat" you're wearing in each conversation.

🤝 At Alan this is primarily the coach's responsibility (though leads should also build trust through clear expectations)

The biggest mistake coaches make? Waiting until there's a crisis to give critical feedback. Start building trust from day one by creating template:

When you've proven you can acknowledge challenges and help solve them, you earn the credibility to have harder conversations later.

👥 At  Alan BOTH Coach and Lead watch for these signals

Underperformance rarely appears overnight. Watch for patterns:

The vicious cycle looks like this: 

The role of coach is to break this cycle through radical focus. Ask repeatedly: "What is the ONE thing that matters most this cycle? Are you progressing on it?"

🎯 At Alan, the lead delivers the formal warning. The coach supports the processing.

When you've identified a real performance issue, clarity becomes kindness. The exact words matter. 

Don't say: "You could improve on this."

Instead, say: "The situation we're facing on [specific area] is not sustainable for [whom] and [explain why]. Looking at your performance over the past weeks, I am sharing a performance warning so we can address it now before it escalates. It happens to everyone at some point in their career, and we need to act now."

Lead's delivers the warning with the support from the coach and immediately follows:

Coach's conversation (within 24-48 hours after):

Your role is to:

💭 What I've learned the hard way

Some employees softened a performance warning because they didn't want to "hurt" someone. They said things like "there's room for improvement" instead of "this is a performance warning."

Three months later, when we had to part ways, the person was devastated: "I wish you had been clearer earlier. I thought I was doing okay."

Clarity is kindness even when it's uncomfortable. Ambiguity doesn't protect people; it paralyzes them.

🤝 coach's role at Alan  (though leads should also check understanding)

One of the most critical and often overlooked point is ensuring your feedback actually lands with clarity in the person's mind: what is shared is not necessarily what is heard nor understood. 

Confirm their understanding by asking: "Can you tell me in your own words what we just discussed and what the next steps are?" If their summary doesn't match your message, clarify immediately. Don't leave the conversation until you're both aligned.

Use color coding to create shared understanding. 

👥 Both coach and lead are concerned  

From my experience, we have twice as many "helping" conversations as "parting ways" conversations. But not all coaches know this support exists, which can lead to situations escalating unnecessarily.

How to get support:

Example triggers to raise your hand:

🎯 Lead coordinates this, with coach supporting

Here's a paradox: you need to be clear and direct about the performance issue, but you also need to step back and let your coachee own their recovery.

The biggest trap is becoming the person who micromanages every step. When you do this, you create dependency and worse, you remove the sense of agency that's essential for someone to regain confidence and momentum. 

Ask powerful questions:

Let them build the action plan. Your role is to:

Your coachee moves from passive recipient to active problem-solver and that's when real change happens.

🎯 Lead coordinates this, with coach supporting

Here's a mistake I see repeatedly: keeping performance challenges completely confidential between just the lead, coach, and coachee without involving relevant teammates.

While discretion is important, hiding the situation entirely from close teammates creates two major problems:

Lead's role:

Coach's role:

Here is an example of action plan communicated by the employee concerned to their team 

👥 Both coach and lead are involved 

Once someone receives difficult feedback, they can spiral further if not supported properly. Here's how to prevent that:

👥 Both coach and lead assess together

While every situation is unique, 8 weeks is typically a good milestone to assess progress. Within that time, you should see:

If someone is truly committed, you'll see it early. If the drive isn't there, that becomes clear too and that's when different conversations are needed.

Here's the truth: 

But when you get it right? 

We're still learning at Alan. We don't get every performance conversation right. We've had situations where we acted too late. But we're committed to improving, documenting what we learn, and building a culture where people trust they'll be supported through difficult moments. 

Who needs to hear the truth from you today?